FAMILY LIVING EVENTS
2007 Parenting Classes
Parent Resource Place
920 University
Ave, Beaver Dam
Call 920.887.7503
to register. No fees, child care available upon request.
- Mondays, October 15 & 22, 6-7:30 pm - Problem Solving for Kids
- Mondays, November 5 & 12, 6-7:30 pm - Problem Solving for Kids
Children are learning to problem solve before they learn to speak. With some guidance from adults, kids can further develop their thinking skills and learn how to think, not what to think. In the process they understand their own as well as others'feeling. This class is ideal for anyone parenting children ages 4-7. Please plan to attend all 4 evenings. Call to register and for child care by October 10 or earlier.
Being a parent is not an easy job. Normal children can be a challenge, but if your child is more energetic, intense, persistent or sensitive, the parent-child relationship can become overwhelming. Children with these “more” traits may be referred to as “Spirited” children.
Learning the clues to children’s behavior is an important first step. While other kids may whimper when they’re hungry or hurt, spirited children are likely to scream. Parents need to know that intense children react with more energy or excitement or pain than other children. They are not doing this on purpose or to embarrass you. Their bodies physiologically react more than those of other children. Parents need to “teach” their children what they are experiencing and better ways to deal with it.
Parents are advised to avoid damaging labels and relabel the behavior in a positive manner. Realize that intense children do not hide their emotions—they are sensitive, expressive and dramatic. Throw out labels like loud, impatient, picky, argumentative or demanding. Parents need to learn the subtle, nonverbal cues that tell you the child’s level of intensity is rising. Then parents can take preventive actions before the child becomes overwhelmed and has a full-blown meltdown.
Here are some strategies that work with intense kids:
- Intervene early—you can’t teach kids something new when they are losing control. Wait until they have calmed down. Then point out what you saw and how they might handle it differently. Try calming activities like baths, quiet time or reading stories.
- Regular exercise is effective in managing intensity in parents and kids, allowing them to “blow off steam.”
- Repetitive motion, especially of the jaw, can be helpful. For young children, this might include sucking a bottle or pacifier, swinging, rocking, riding a rocking horse or in a baby carrier. For older children, try drinking from a straw, chewing gum, swinging, rocking, jumping rope or going for a walk.
- Deep breathing helps calm children who tend to hyperventilate or hold their breath when intensity rises. You can teach them to use deep breathing by blowing bubbles, pretending to blow out candles on a birthday cake or counting to ten.
- Use humor, but avoid sarcasm or ridicule. Try doing the unexpected—give a silly response, use a different voice or use a funny mask or puppet. Have a family “I had a bad day” party with pizza and ice cream and let kids discuss their day.
- Change the scene in order to disconnect from the source of intensity. Encourage sensory activities. Use play-doh or silly putty; give back scratches or massage; dim lights in the room; use a sensory bucket filled with water, sand or oatmeal. Other ideas include reading, playing dress up, or water play in the bath or sink.
- Provide a time and space for cooling off. Teach kids ways to calm down. Choose a quiet, comfortable spot. Teach them that time-out is an opportunity to pull out of the action in order to rest, relax and regain control. Help them feel comfortable taking a break.
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