"A Better Beginning"

About the series:

Separation or divorce is a significant crisis time in the life of a family. The months, and perhaps years that come before, during and after, shake the foundations of a family and reach into all areas of family and individual life. The losses experienced during this time are at least as great as those of a death. There are, however, no funerals for the ending of a relationship.

"A Better Beginning" strives to help parents do just that . . . create a better beginning. The series is designed to help couples navigate through the process of redefining their family. Even though parents may distance themselves from each other, they are parents - forever responsible together (and perhaps someday, along with others), for their family.

How does the "Better Beginning" program work?

Parents (and their minor children ages 6 - 16) will attend two evening group sessions of two hours each, for two weeks in a row. Dates and times are listed on the registration letter.

To satisfy the statute, parents must:

1. Participate in both 2-hours sessions. (Parents have the option of attending sessions together or separately.)
2. Do homework assignments.
3. Make sure their children, ages 6 through 16, participate in both sessions and complete their homework assignments.

Upon completion of the course, each parent will receive a certificate of completion. We will also proved a copy to the Clerk of Court, which will be added to your file.

Will "A Better Beginning" help us?

YES! Long-term studies have shown that families who receive quality support and learn new skills during separation and divorce fare much better in many areas of life than those who don't.

HOW? The ways parents conduct themselves greatly affects the experience, adjustment and outcome for their child(ren).

This program helps parents to:

• See through their child's eyes and make decisions centered around their child's experience and best interests.
• Recognize the ways and times that children feel responsible, distressed, or put "in the middle" of parent situations during and after separation and divorce.
• Learn and use important skills for stress management, positive communication, problem-solving and conflict.
• Develop a quality co-parenting plan.

Children and youth will learn to:

• Communicate their needs and concerns with parents.
• Use positive coping strategies and a support network.

Class Dates:

These are the scheduled class dates for 2009:

(All dates are subject to change.)

How do I register?

The program has a materials fee of $30.00 per parent. There is no charge for children.

If financial help is needed, scholarships are available. You may make a confidential request for a scholarship application by calling the Pepin County Extension Office at 715-672-5214.

It is the responsibility of each individual parent to register themselves and their child(ren).

To reserve a place in the classes, parents need to complete and return a registration form with payment to the Buffalo County UW-Extension Office.

Registration Form:

Better Beginnings Brochure (2 pages) PDF Format

Better Beginnings Registration Form (1 page) PDF Format

Check out these links for additional information and resources for stepfamilies:

What are the Top Ten Things Kids would say to their divorcing parents? Are they what you would expect? Click to find out.

Listed are the Top Ten Things children should remember when their parents are separating or divorcing.

Young people are often unsure how to handle complex and changing situations caused by their parents divorce. Can your child name some of their own "do's" or "don'ts" related to your separation or divorce?

A Young Person's Divorce Bill of Rights acknowledges the "rights" adolescents have as they experience their parents' divorce.

Locating a support network for yourself is key in managing the emotions, hurt, and change that is a part of a separation or divorce. Youth in "A Better Beginning" class have provided their advice to other young people who are experiencing their parents' divorce.

Web sites for Children and Young Adults:

"It's My Life" ~ PBS Kids It My Life

This site fills you in on divorce topics like "the big questions" and "dealing with the Big D". It also has a special feature on step-families. On this cools interactive site, you can even watch videos, take quizzes, and create your own journal.

Kids' Turn ~ Kids Turn

This web site has its very own section for kids like you! Check out the artwork, the questions and answers section, and the activities!

Kid's Health - A Kid's Guide to Divorce ~ Kids Health

This site has a great overview of topics from our class and is fun too. You can even get information sent straight to your email in box!

Movies about divorce for children and young adults:

Mrs. Doubtfire Columbus, C. (Director). (1993). Mrs. Doubtfire. [Motion Picture]. United States: 20th Century Fox.
Bye Bye Love Weiseman, S. (Director). (1995). Bye Bye Love. [Motion Picture]. United States: Starz.
Kramer vs. Kramer Benton, R. (1979). Kramer vs. Kramer. [Motion Picture]. United States: Sony Pictures

Books about divorce and separation for children and young adults:

Dinosaurs Divorce: A Guide for Changing Families Brown L. K., & Brown, M. (1986). Dinosaurs Divorce: A Guide for Changing Families. New York, NY: Little Brown & Company.
My Parents are Divorced, Too: A Book for Kids by Kid Ford, M., Ford, A. & Ford, S. (2006). My Parents are Divorced, Too: A Book for Kids By Kids. Washington, D.C.: Magination Press.
What in the World Do You Do When Your Parents Divorce?: A Survival Guide for Kids Winchester, K., & Beyer, R. (2001). What in the World Do You Do When Your Parents Divorce?: A Survival Guide for Kids. Minneapolis, MN: Free Spirit Publishing, Inc.
My Parents are Getting Divorced Cadier, F. & Daly, M. (2004).My Parents are Getting Divorced. New York, NY: Amulet Books.
When Your Parents Split Up: How To Keep Yourself Together Swan-Jackson, A. (1997). When Your Parents Split Up: How To Keep Yourself Together. New York, NY: Price Stern Sloan.
Mom's House, Dad's House for Kids: Feeling at Home in One Home or Two Ricci, I. (2006). Mom's House, Dad's House for Kids: Feeling at Home in One Home or Two. New York, NY: Fireside Publishers.
How To Survive Your Parents' Divorce: Kids Advice to Kids Kimball, G. (1994). How To Survive Your Parents’ Divorce: Kids Advice to Kids. San Francisco, CA: Equality Press.
The Divorce Helpbook for Kids MacGregor, C. (2001). The Divorce Helpbook for Kids. Atascadero, CA: Impact Publishers, Inc.
The Divorce Helpbook for Teens MacGregor, C. (2004). The Divorce Helpbook for Teens. Atascadero, CA: Impact Publishers, Inc.
Divorce is Not the End of the World: Zoe's and Evan's Coping Guide for Kids Stern, E. S. (1997). Divorce is Not the End of the World: Zoe’s and Evan’s Coping Guide for Kids. Berkeley, CA: Tricycle Press.
Mama and Daddy Bear's Divorce Spelman, C. M. (1998). Mama and Daddy Bear’s Divorce. Morton Grove: IL: Albert Whitman & Company.
Two Homes Masurel, C. (2001). Two Homes. Cambridge, MS: Candlewick Press.
How Do I Feel About My Parents' Divorce Cole, J. (1997). How Do I Feel About My Parents’ Divorce. Brookfield, CT: Copper Beech Books.
HELP! A Girl's Guide to Divorce and Stepfamilies Pleasant Company Publications, ed. (1999). HELP! A Girl's Guide to Divorce and Stepfamilies. Middleton, WI: Pleasant Company Publications.

Instructors:

Mary Wood, M.S. ~ Buffalo & Pepin Counties Family Living Agent
mary.wood@ces.uwex.edu

Annie Lisowski, M.S. ~ Buffalo County Youth Development Educator
annie.lisowski@ ces.uwex.edu

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