As a support group facilitator, you will encounter lots of different experiences. Participants from the A, B, C's of Grandparents Raising Grandchildren Support Groups brainstormed the following possible solutions to different situations that may occur in support group meetings.

Ways to Encourage Group Discussion:

• Ask individuals to share their experiences
• Develop ground rules
• Group determine discussion topics
• Use small groups that report back to the large group
• Develop goals for the support group
• Ask individuals what may be gained from the group and what they want from the group
• Use case studies and ask what would you do
• Have individuals supply questions

• Ask questions to determine what is happening
• Talk about "what ifs"
• Concentrate on the child and discussion situation for the child "eyes"
• Ask what is in the best interest of the child
• Help them use correct terminology-ask them questions so you know they are using correct terms
• Help them face the situation
• Ask the group to help

• Provide opportunities for involvement
• Recognize the individual may be checking out the group
• Do activities in small groups to encourage discussion
• Use an icebreaker that has a purpose and is not a game
• Use nonverbal clues, such as smiling
• Greet people when they first come to the meeting
• Recognize nonverbal clues the individual may be giving you

• Realize it takes time for some individuals to feel comfortable in a new group
• Recognize some individuals may be getting enough by being quiet
• Have them hook-up with another member after the meeting for follow-up
• Respect the individual's choice to be quiet
• Thank the individual for coming
• Ask the individual for involvement

• Spend time with the individual at a later time
• Invite a resource person on topic that the individual is hostile about
• Refer the individual to someone for counseling
• Attempt to diffuse the individual
• Ask the group to respond with positive ways they have dealt with the situation
• Use no eye contact

• Redirect the individual's conversation
• Start a new topic
• Ask someone else for input
• Talk with the individual after the meeting
• Indicate not enough time and move on to a different topic
• Refer to group guide lines which should respecting each person's time
• Ask for comments, instead of open discussion
• Plan an activity that is not verbal
• Talk to the individual
• Open discussion to the group
• Reinforce ground rules or develop a ground rule
• Ask the individual not to participate in the support group
• Do an activity on respect
• Stop person
• Find out what they are really trying to say and why

• Be direct with the individual
• Hear the individual's anger and recognize their issues
• Let the individual vent
• Reframe the issue and bring it back to group for discussion
• Let the individual express his/her feelings
• Ask the person to leave the group
• Take a 3-5 minute break
• Talk to the individual at the end of the meeting
• Involve friend that came with them
• Have others acknowledge how they felt/dealt with the issue
• If the behavior is exhibited often, decide how to deal with the individual
• Echo what is being said as a way to understand what is being said
• Ask what the individual wants, what their expected outcome is and then explore how to reach what they are expecting
• Be proactive when planning future topics be prepared
• Take the individual's "anger energy" and help point out the positives
• Develop group rules around not being negative

• Divert the individual by changing the topic
• Involve the group in active roles like writing things down to share with the group so all will have to listen and write
• Have a limit for discussion and at the time limit, change the topic
• Make sure others have a chance to talk
• Talk with the individual about their "know it all" attitude
• Develop ground rules around everyone discussing and valuing different ideas and perspectives
• Offer the individual the opportunity to teach
• Give the individual a job and involve them as a team member
• Recognize the individual in more than one way
• Use the individual as a resource person
• Avoid eye contact-eye contact encourages participation
• Try not to give the individual control
• Don't call on the individual
• Ask group members for their reaction or experience with the situation being discussed
• Refer the individual to someone with more information on the topic being discussed
• Try not to single out the individual
• Ask the individual where they got their information or what resources they used

• Try to use a sense of humor to create a diversion
• Provide a box of Kleenex take to them without comment
• Tap them on the shoulder and  recognize their feelings
• Say "It seems as though you're feeling sad . . . can we help? Have any of you had this experience?"
• Acknowledge that there will be blue days and sad times and ask the group how they handle the situation
• Ask "Was something said today that upset you?"
• Have a co-facilitator escort them discreetly from the room and then work with them
• Acknowledge their feelings
• Ask them if you can touch them by saying, "Do you need a hug?" or  " Can I give you a hug?"
• Create an environment where it is safe for crying to happen
• Ask others in group to share their experiences
• Acknowledge that the group may be uncomfortable
• Be sensitive to everyone's feelings
• Be a good listener
• Don't say "We know how you feel"
• Be careful not to single them out

This list was developed by the 35 participants of  The A, B, C's of Support Groups offered by the Wisconsin Grandparents Raising Grandchildren Partnership (1999)