University of Wisconsin - Extension

Do you eagerly look forward to the beginning of each school year, with all the great new activities for your children, only to feel like you are going to collapse under the train of too many late dinners and carpool arrangements by the middle of October?

If so, you're not alone. Elementary school-aged children now have options far beyond the popular piano and swim lessons. There is indoor and outdoor soccer, baseball, dance, football, gymnastics, tennis, and more. Don't like sports? Try art classes, dance, Kindermusic, recorder lessons, drums and violin. There are also clubs, including 4-H, Scouts, Boys' and Girls' Clubs and after-school enrichment courses.

"Activities really are important for school-aged children, because they help kids explore their interests and build a true sense of accomplishment, which in turn builds self-esteem," says Gay Eastman, University of Wisconsin-Extension human development specialist and a researcher with UW-Madison.

"Positive experiences with well-run activities can also help young children begin to build some of those lifelong skills, like responsibility, teamwork, communication and perseverance," she says.

But too many activities can be stressful to both children and their parents, can eat into family time and may not allow enough "down time" for children to just relax and play.

Eastman has these suggestions for choosing activities for children in order to meet their needs and interests, while still preserving some time for homework, family and playing:

Consider activities based on the child's needs, including their interests and maturity level. Try to avoid picking activities because you wish you could have done them as a child, or because other parents are signing their children up.

Give children choices among a variety of activities. For instance, if you believe a musical experience is important, try to offer several different options. If you only offer piano lessons, and your child has no real interest, you may struggle with him about practicing.

Check out the values and methods of the teachers and coaches, as well as the attitudes of other parents whose children are involved in the activity. If the other parents are highly competitive and your child just wants to have fun, it may not be a good match.

Avoid too many activities at once. Remember your child can always try a new activity once she has finished the first one. Although a good rule of thumb is one or two activities per semester, your particular child may thrive on more or fewer. And you should take into account how much of his day is already structured by activities such as after-school child care or religion classes.

Talk with your child ahead of time about for how long you expect her to participate and how much she will have to practice outside the activity. If your child believes violin lessons only involve the lesson itself, with no outside practice time, you will be in for a struggle.

Likewise, you don't want children flitting from one activity to a new one every two weeks if the first activity isn't exciting enough.

If you want to spend more time with your children, look for activities where you can participate, too. Or, choose activities where the whole family can get involved. Many sports encourage parent coaches. 4-H clubs often offer opportunities for whole families.

If you feel certain activities are demanding too much time, get together with other parents to talk about some changes. Some sports, such as swimming and soccer, meet several times a week and/or at odd times. If parents band together to talk with the coach or director, it will carry more weight than if a single parent steps forward.