University of Wisconsin - Extension

Whether it¿s preparing for the first day of kindergarten, moving to a new school district for third grade, or entering middle school, making school transitions can be both exciting and a bit scary for children and their parents.

Some children adjust very quickly to changes, while others have a more difficult time and require more adult support. However, a University of Wisconsin-Extension child development specialist says there are quite a few things parents and other adults can do to help ease transitions for school children.

¿Regardless of how you personally feel about the change, try to be positive for your child,¿ says Gay Eastman, also coordinator of UW-Extension¿s School Readiness Project. ¿Talk positively about your own experiences with change and how exciting it is that your child is getting older and moving to a new stage. Positive parent expectations about school have a big effect on children, even if they don¿t outwardly show it.¿

While staying positive yourself, Eastman also says it¿s important to acknowledge your child¿s feelings, even when they are feeling fear or anger. Validating your child¿s concerns, rather than glossing over them, will encourage your child to be honest with you and come to you when he or she has problems.

¿You want to keep the lines of communication open. When you acknowledge their feeling and even use stories from your own experience to demonstrate that all people have these feelings, your children know they can talk to you at any time.¿

Eastman also says that keeping home routines as normal as possible during school changes can offer children stability. Children who are well-rested and healthy also are better ready to learn at school. Families may have to adjust bedtimes beginning a few weeks before school to help children adjust to waking up earlier for school.

To avoid a morning rush, which can raise anxiety levels, do as many chores as possible the night before, such as making lunches and setting out clothes for the next morning.

¿Think about building in an end-of-day routine that helps kids decompress,¿ Eastman says. ¿You may want to greet them and have a snack together right after school, or allow a half hour of television just to unwind.¿

Another strategy to help children deal with transitions is to foreshadow as much as possible. Children do best when they know the schedule for the day, including what to expect at school and what is going on at home after school. If you don¿t know the school schedule, you may want to call and talk with your child¿s teacher before the school year starts.

Eastman also recommends helping prepare children for potentially stressful situations by playing the game of ¿What if¿?¿ Use the things your child is most concerned about to help him or her generate ideas to cope with the problem. What would you do if you wanted to join a game at recess but didn¿t know how to ask? What would you do if somebody teased you?

Eastman also suggests turning this game around. What would you do if you saw another child being picked on? What would you do if you saw a classmate sitting by himself at lunch?

¿Give your child examples of how they can demonstrate ways to be brave or kind to others. It tells your child that you see your child as a person who is capable and in control,¿ Eastman says.